IN A HAZE OF FICTION
Come in, let me tell you a story . . .
Wondering
by Y.L. Reyes on April 21st, 2012

As she listened to a song which came through the vents towards her and spoke of memories, she wondered…
“Would’ve been different, better to never have known you? To never have you crossed my path, to never have touched you?” If he was just a stranger, another faceless soul in the city, would she feel more joy, more happy feelings?

She then went on wondering, “Did you have a purpose? Other than the pain, the hurt, the sorrow? Other than the confusion, the desperation and the poison of your love?”

“And if I erase you from my memory, would I ruin such purpose? If the universe takes pity in me and grants me that wish, if it allows me to thoroughly wash away all traces of your existence, would that be a mistake? Would I damage some necessary pain, some necessary experience?”

The experts talked, told her, this is normal, and that she must go through it. They come to her cell, give her their medicines and she wondered. They say: “is good” “you’ll learn”, “you’ll grow” and she asked: “what is to become of my heart?”, “it will not grow” she said “it will shrink; it will shrink faster and faster until is just a particle of dust in my chest”. “And tell me” she asked sending painful electricity through her body, “are dust particles capable of love?” But they did not answer, just shake their heads, closed the door behind them and left her there… wondering.


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